dun dun DUN...

Would this concern you too??

Big Sis returned to work on Wednesday. It was fun to have her home for two days, but honestly, good riddance, woman it's great to see her back on her feet.

Having her home for a few days really highlighted a big concern, though.

Doggies, do any of your humans refer to you with nicknames almost exclusively of the FOOD variety?

As you can probably tell from the comments that some of our friends leave, I have many nicknames. My Big Sis almost never calls me Ronak... she usually calls me Shkooner. Or Gooner. Or Loony Tune. Or (brace yourselves) POOM POOM BABY BEAR.

While she was home though, I realized that I've been focusing on the frou frou nicknames and haven't been paying attention to the concerning ones. Mr. Muffin Head. Pudding Bear. Pumpkin Butt. Apple Bottom.

BUT the most disturbing of them all...

CHICKEN.

Let me provide some context, friends. You see, at the end of January 2008, Big Sis and I were involved in an accident and both of us are grateful to be ok today. We were walking along a very quiet street in our neighborhood on a calm Sunday evening on the sidewalk. I was on my flexi-leash. Out of nowhere zoomed a big black car onto the sidewalk... badly hurting a woman behind us - and running over three of my four paws (it went over Big Sis' foot, but luckily she was wearing those weird pointy boots that human gals love and she didn't feel a thing). It was a nightmarish evening and after a night and a day in the ER, Big Sis AND Big Bro came to get a very droopy and drugged me to take me home. I've since made a full recovery, so no one worry about me, please!
While I was in the hospital, I had to get lots of IVs and I had to have my wounds treated... so my back legs and a part of one my front leg had to be shaved. I would show you pictures but they're just not pretty.

During this time... Big Sis referred to me mostly as... "Chicken." Not because I was afraid. Because my legs (my dancer legs!) looked like... chicken legs!

In my drugged haze back in January/February while I was recovering, I grew to really like my "Chicken" nickname. Most all of my family adopted it and what can I say... it was funny and fitting at the time.

While Big Sis was home sick these past few days, anytime she got a bout of energy, she'd chase me around. This isn't anything new... she never catches me *evil laugh* but she took to calling me "Chicken" again! I was shocked - and it impaired my usual lightning speed and agility. She caught me and dragged me to the sofa and was harassing me in the usual way of fur razzing and head ruffling and ear pulling.

AND SHE MANIACALLY SAID...

"I caught you, Chicken! Now I'm going to eat you!"

I was pretty scared the rest of that day... kept an eye on what she was doing in the kitchen. Hmm. But only pasta was made. It seems like she's forgotten for now but... let's just say I'm sleeping with one eye open.

Would someone please report her to the authorities?!?!?!?! This is... THIS IS ENDANGERMENT!!

Did anyone else hear that noise... or is paranoia setting in?????

Gotcha Festivities

Thanks to the excellent legal counsel I received from my attorney, MzLiz in Los Angeles, I've decided to not take any legal action against my Big Sis. For now, I will heed Liz's advice and plot something evil against her think about a peaceful way of making amends.

This weekend was a BLAST! Some friends of Big Sis came to visit - one was a guy from San Diego who didn't love my barking welcome very much... and who called me Cujo (though affectionately). I could tell that he actually liked me though... since he text messaged me from the airport on his way back to CA.

ALSO! GAIL spent the night!! I just adore her. Big Sis says that she is the one who introduced me to Gail, and that may be true... but I think Gail only comes by to see me now and barely even likes Big Sis. *evil laugh* The only way that Gail could be cooler would be if she gave me some of her wine... she probably knows that Big Sis would flip. *sigh*

Then on Sunday, I went to Big Bro and Big Sis-in-Law's house to visit... and Mom and Dad were there too!!!!!!!! It was so much fun and I managed to con some people out of their yummy human food as usual.

Now the one little problem was that Big Sis started to feel really yucky on Sunday... like sniffly and coughy and nasal. So she was sort of low energy, which really ticked me off.

Then yesterday in the morning, she wouldn't get out of bed! In fact, it's now Tuesday and she's pretty much been laying there ever since!!!!!!!! We take breaks to go outside and refill my water and my food though... and truth be told, it's REALLY fun. Yesterday was my two year Gotcha Day anniversary (the day that Big Sis and Dad picked me up at the airport!) and Big Sis sang me a little song (in bed) and I brought ALL of my toys onto the bed so we played quite a bit there. Same today! Man, it is beyond cool when humans get sick and stay home with you!! Talk about celebrating my Gotcha Day!! I have been getting belly rubs and cuddles for two days. Big Sis says that I am having a party this weekend to officially celebrate, but I think this is just about as good as it gets!

The best thing is that I can show Big Sis all the things that happen during the day when she's usually at work. Like... since I am the man of the house, I try to fix up whatever needs taking care of around the house. I was changing the bulb for Big Sis when suddenly something caught my eye.

Something scaling the side of a building across the way...

Is that Spiderman????

Hmmmm. Big Sis doesn't think it's Spiderman. Could it be the Gotcha Day Toy Delivery Man?? If so... he has the wrong building!!!!!!!

EXPOSED!

I have been accused of a great many things in my life.

There were my drinking phases (see my socialite phase pictures here and then here) - I have yet to live down this hilarious photographic evidence.

There was the rascal phase. Any slobber found on rugs was attributed to me during this time... although we all well know that humans will eat nearly anything.

There was the time of theft... ok, so there was the time with the mango and oh yes, and the leather heel incident.

You see, adoring public, I have been the unwitting recipient of much defamation and slander. It has not been an easy path to walk... yet I rise to every occasion, making adorable faces and performing tricks in exchange for treats and pats and restoration of my good name.

Even my heritage, though PURE, has been questioned! I've been accused of such grossly insulting ancestry... including cat...
... sheep and fox.


But this! This is just too much.

MINI ESKIE HAS TASMANIAN DEVIL ANCESTORS

This miniature American Eskimo named Ronak, residing in lower Manhattan, has been identified as a major threat to society with stature and fangs bearing striking semblance to the Tasmanian Devil. It is thought that the two share common ancestors and, as shown above, may share common behaviors and impulses to bite. If you see this creature, proceed with extreme caution.

Guilt in Humans: A Study in Dog Triumph

This weekend, I conducted a little scientific study entitled Guilt in Humans: A Study in Dog Triumph. I didn't plan it out (that's my story and I'm sticking to it), but yesterday I did have the pukies, and just felt kind of icky the rest of the weekend.

Well, tonight I perked up a bit, but was still pitiful looking enough that Big Sis felt REALLY bad for me. And she thinks it's all her fault.

Check out the benefits of human guilt and what I got away with this weekend!

Pizza for dinner - and yes, I got to eat some!!

And a new toy... what fun!!!!!

This is classified material - I don't want people getting the wrong idea about me. Wink wink!

Doggies, do not attempt this guilty act at home. Results not typical and should be performed by professionals only.

Beijing Olympics

I had the pukies this morning, and it's really no wonder since I just stumbled upon this article on my pawtop: Dog meat off the menu during Beijing Olympics.

Now, I am a very well-traveled pup and I come from quite an international family. I don't mean to take an ethnocentric view of the world (in fact, my older sis-in-law is from Hong Kong and I love her to pieces), but I don't know whether to be happy that some dogs will be spared during the Olympics, or angered about the whole terrible thing.

What do my fellow doggies of the world think?

Ballerina

Tonight I was smuggled into a dance studio... quite naughty of Big Sis and me! I had to promise that I would be verrrry, very quiet as I'm not allowed there. Big Sis teaches a class there a few nights a week and brought me to meet her students... I'm such a celebrity.

I picked up a ballet move - must have been from one of the other instructors since Big Sis doesn't teach that!

Here I am practicing my move.

Don't I have the legs of a dancer??